


The Catalyst

by notlucy



Series: MCU Kink Bingo - NotLucy [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Casual Sex, Cunnilingus, F/M, Fucking, Hair-pulling, Hand Jobs, Kissing, Light Bondage, M/M, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Nervousness, Oral Fixation, POV Steve Rogers, Pining, Praise Kink, Spitroasting, Steve Rogers Feels, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 09:11:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12578432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notlucy/pseuds/notlucy
Summary: Steve watches Bucky and Natasha sometimes - the ease they have with one another, the way their friendship develops, the fact that he's pretty sure they're sleeping together. And that's fine. It's fine! He's not jealous.





	The Catalyst

**Author's Note:**

> Filling the pairing square (I4) Steve/Natasha/Bucky on my Kink Bingo card. Or, as I've started calling them in my head, Butasheve. That's way sexier than Natastucky or Stucktasha. I feel 100% confident in that fact.

Nobody brought out Bucky’s competitive streak quite like Natasha. She pushed him harder, made him better, pestered him like a little sister when she didn’t think he was living up to his potential. Her pushing and pestering were, strangely, helpful in Bucky’s recovery. In bringing him back to himself. In uncovering the man beneath the machine - who he was now that he was no longer the soldier, but not quite Bucky either.

So Steve didn’t mind it when the two of them bickered about who could hold their breath underwater the longest, or who could pull a gun the fastest, or who had the edge in knife-sharpening. Pun intended.

Sometimes, though, Steve wondered if their competitive streak extended into the bedroom. Because he was reasonably sure they were sleeping together.

And that was _fine_. Bucky was free to do what he liked. The fact that this brave new world meant Steve didn’t have to hide his attraction to men as well as women anymore didn’t obligate Bucky to want to try it on with him. Bucky, for his part, was indiscriminate with partners, taking up with anyone who showed an interest, male and female alike. But he never seemed interested in Steve, and when Natasha arrived in Wakanda and took him under her wing, he’d attached himself to her and hadn’t let go yet. Steve knew there was common ground there, that Natasha understood Bucky’s situation in a way he couldn’t. He knew, and he tried not to be jealous when Bucky went to her after an angry outburst or a flashback. He tried not to be resentful when Bucky started sleeping in her suite of rooms on occasion, instead of the rooms he and Steve were supposed to be sharing. It began to feel as though Bucky was shutting him out, and Natasha was there to pick up the pieces.

He tried not to let it get to him, throwing himself into training with Sam, card games with Wanda, weird conversations with Scott. If Natasha was who Bucky wanted, well, he’d support it. Try to live his life around it.

Still. It was easy to feel left out sometimes. Like when he heard them arguing one day when he passed by Natasha’s rooms, the door to her living area cracked just enough that he could overhear.

“I could, though,” Bucky said. “If I wanted to.”

“And…?” Natasha shrugged. “So could I.”

“You could _not._ ”

“How do you know?”

“Because…”

Bucky cut himself off when Steve knocked on the doorframe to announce his presence, face going impassive and stony. Steve tried not to let his disappointment show.

The whispered conversations continued to the point where he just couldn’t take it anymore. Especially when he got pretty confident in the fact that the whispers included his name.

So he brought it up.

“You can tell me, you know,” he tried with Bucky.

“Tell you what?” Bucky asked, glancing over at Steve as they jogged together through the lush Wakandan outdoors.

“If you’re together. With Natasha. You don’t have to hide stuff like that from me.”

Bucky, the punk, actually laughed, shaking his head and picking up speed. “I’m not. And if I were, I wouldn’t bother hiding it.”

Steve scowled, increasing his own pace to catch up. Sometimes, Bucky could still make him feel like a fifteen-year-old who was out of his depth when it came to basic human interaction. That part of him was pure Bucky, no hint of the soldier.

“Well...good,” he replied. He wasn’t going to ask again.

* * *

 

In the end, they brought it to him. He walked into his living room to find them both on the couch, backs straight, watching him intently. They could have been twins. Scary, murder twins who didn’t look anything alike.

“Uh…”

“Hi Steve,” Natasha said. “Have a seat.”

“What’s...going on?” he asked, warily, sliding into the chair that he could now see had been strategically positioned to face them both.

“We have a proposal for you,” Bucky said.

“A proposal,” Natasha agreed.

“A proposal,” Steve echoed.

“You think we’re together, but we’re not,” Natasha said, and she was nothing if not good at getting to the point.

“I don’t…” he spluttered, cheeks going red as he glanced back and forth between the two of them.

“But we are fucking.” Natasha, again.

“We are.”

“What’s...how is that not together?” Steve stammered, regretting the question the instant it was out of his mouth.

They exchanged another unreadable look, communicating silently before Bucky replied. “You’re not that naive, Stevie. Anyway, that’s not the point.”

“I would...love to know the point.”

“Well,” Natasha replied. “We have fun together. It’s...a stress relief.”

“Real scientific stuff,” Bucky agreed.

“Scientific,” Steve snorted.

“Yeah, scientific,” Bucky replied. “We both feel better afterward, and we noticed you’re wound up tighter than a drum. So we want to help.”

“Yes,” Natasha agreed. “Help.”

Steve didn’t say anything because he was fairly sure his jaw was on the floor.

“Just for fun,” Bucky said, watching Steve closely, his expression guarded. “Doesn’t mean anything. It’s just sex. Just a game.”

Steve knew his cheeks were red, ears burning hot as he got to his feet. “No. Thank you. I’m not interested in...that.”

He had to tell himself he imagined the flash of disappointment that moved across Bucky’s face when he turned to walk into his bedroom.

* * *

Natasha and Bucky didn’t bring it up again. Steve appreciated that, even if he couldn’t get the offer out of his head. Things returned to a sense of normalcy, in fact, as Natasha was called away on a diplomatic mission and Bucky began working with T’Challa on ironing out the kinks in his new arm.

Steve tried not to think about it. What it would feel like to have both of them doing their damndest to bring him off. What tricks they had up their sleeves. How they’d do it. If they’d be able to figure out what he liked. If Bucky would have the advantage from all those years they spent trying to pretend they weren’t beating their meat under their respective blankets in that tiny apartment they shared. If Natasha’s hands were too small to wrap all the way around…

No. No, no, no. He wasn’t even entertaining the possibility.

Except for the fact that he very sincerely was. Because maybe he _was_ stressed. And maybe he did need to loosen up a little. But mostly: he was prideful and stubborn, and maybe he wanted his chance to shock the damn Bobbsey twins.

“So what are the parameters, exactly, of the game?” he asked over dinner, two days after Natasha returned. He watched with some amusement as Bucky nearly choked on his food. Natasha raised an eyebrow - it was tough to surprise her. “Just...need to know what I’m signing up for here.”

“Signing up for?” Bucky managed, his mouth full.

“Been considering your offer,” he shrugged. “For science.”

“For science,” Natasha smirked. “We...haven’t exactly discussed the particulars, have we, James? We wanted to get your buy-in first.”

“Sure,” Bucky agreed, watching Steve, wary. “Buy-in.”

“I’m bought in,” Steve shrugged. “So start thinking.”

Natasha glanced at Bucky before picking up her wine glass. “I don’t know about parameters, exactly. In the past, things have just sort of unfolded...organically.”

Steve didn’t know about organic. He knew about furtive masturbation and stolen kisses with USO girls. He knew about one night with Peggy Carter at a safe house in France, and a couple rushed tumbles with Maria Hill since. He knew about kissing Natasha, and Sharon, and how the former felt like work while the latter felt like a betrayal of that night in France. He knew he’d wanted to kiss Bucky since he was thirteen years old. But he definitely didn’t know about organic.

So he lied, feigning casualness in a way that he had no doubt they could both see right through. “Sure. Organic.”

“When are we doing this?” Bucky asked, blunt as always, the fingers of his prosthetic flexing slightly against the table.

“No time like the present,” Steve replied, trying to project some confidence in his voice because if he was going to lie about his experience, well, he might as well be brave, reckless and a little bit stupid about jumping right in.

A glance between them, Natasha smiled. “Sure.”

She was the one to move first, taking Steve’s hand and pulling him up. She led him into his bedroom, Bucky following at their heels. The reality of the situation hit Steve hard when Natasha settled on the bed, toeing off her shoes and pushing herself back further onto the mattress. Bucky thought for a moment before deciding on the armchair in the corner, content to watch for the time being.

As Steve watched Natasha arrange herself, he was suddenly acutely aware of the fact that his prick might have no interest in the proceedings, considering how nervous he was. But she was sweeter than he expected, reaching out a hand and inviting him to stretch himself out alongside her. “Hi,” she said quietly,

“Hi,” he replied, huffing out a breath, wishing his back weren’t to Bucky, wishing he’d been less impulsive. His thoughts were all over the place, though they quieted when Natasha leaned in to kiss him.

He’d kissed her once before, but this was different. It meant something, he thought, though he didn’t know what. She was careful with him, small hands smoothing down his torso before coming to rest on his belt buckle. Natasha, it seemed, didn’t take her time. He still wasn’t aroused, exactly, but his instincts kicked in when she started undoing his belt, dick twitching against his leg.

“There you are,” she murmured, biting down on his bottom lip before working the zipper down. He heard Bucky shift, just a little, though his curiosity about Bucky’s interest in the proceedings was lost when Natasha’s hand wrapped around his mostly-flaccid shaft and squeezed.

“Ungh,” he managed, which was about as eloquent as he was going to get. It felt...fine. Good, even. But his nerves and the strangeness of the situation were making all that bravery he’d felt earlier go right out the window. “Sorry,” he mumbled when her efforts proved fruitless after a minute or two.

“It’s alright,” she said quietly, releasing her hold on him and shrugging. “We can go back to kissing.”

Kissing he could do, and he nodded gratefully as she met his mouth again. His arms wrapped around her after a moment, because this part he understood. This part he’d done before. This part he liked.

Despite that, even kissing her was eventually too overwhelming. He hadn’t been touched so carefully in a long time. Breaking the kiss, he hugged her instead, hiding his face against her shoulder. Her fingers came up to rub the nape of his neck, tickling the short hairs there. He was ruining their game, he knew. It was supposed to be a fun, silly way to relieve stress. He wasn’t playing his part, and he was sure they were going to leave. Who wouldn’t leave?

He was surprised, then, when Natasha spoke quietly. “James,” she said quietly. “It’s alright. Come here.”

Bucky’s weight settled against Steve’s back, warm and steady, every line of Bucky’s body pressed against his own. And God, it was _Bucky_. He was everything Steve had wanted for as long as he’d been able to want. But he was the soldier, too, the two halves struggling to reconcile. Steve didn’t know which one he was getting, which one he wanted. Maybe both. Still, he stiffened, unsure, as Natasha pulled away and looked at him.

“Sometimes,” she said quietly. “We...forget. That not everybody’s like us.”

“I don’t…” Steve started, before jumping in surprise as Bucky’s arm circled his waist, hugging him tightly, almost possessively.

“You do,” she replied, bringing her free hand up to stroke his cheek, smiling. “We don’t always remember how to be careful. It’s just sex, just...bodies. Stress release. But not for everyone.”

Steve felt Bucky’s lips on his neck, kissing right at the top of his spine. He shivered, swallowing hard. “It’s...I’ve had...I can do this.”

“Sure,” Natasha replied. “Of course you can, Steve. You can do anything. But we don’t have to rush.”

He hesitated, the muscles in his stomach tensing slightly when Bucky pressed a hand against them, pushing his shirt out of the way to do so, fingers warm on his skin. “I...don’t want to spoil whatever you two’ve got going on. Whatever you usually do.”

“Stevie,” Bucky murmured, shifting his weight to hold him tighter. “You still don’t get it. This isn’t about us. It’s about you. We’ll do what we do, with you. So relax, pal. We’re having fun, aren’t we?”

“So much fun,” Natasha agreed, lifting her head to press a lazy kiss to Bucky’s mouth as he met her over Steve’s shoulder. And fuck if that wasn’t the best thing Steve had ever seen. They fit together, he thought, the idea in his head before he could banish it. He still felt like an intruder, but when they pulled apart, and Bucky gave him a shit-eating grin, he found he didn’t care. If they were letting him in, even for one night, he’d have the memory. That could be enough.

Bucky turned his attention fully back to Steve, hesitating for a moment before leaning down to kiss him. Shit, he was kissing Bucky. His fantasies didn’t begin to touch the reality - the warmth of Bucky’s body combined with the rough stubble against his cheeks had Steve’s nethers taking a distinct interest in the proceedings. Finally.

“You’re both wearing too many clothes,” Natasha said.

Bucky broke the kiss, looking up at her, eyes narrowed. She just smiled, reaching for him, tugging the dark red shirt he was wearing up and off his shoulders. Steve responded in kind, pulling his own shirt off and trying not to think too much about the fact that he was the only one of the three of them with his pants half off already.

“What about you, Natalia?” Bucky asked, a smirk playing across his features. Natasha sighed, good-naturedly, sitting up on her knees and pulling her top over her head with an agility that Steve still marveled at. No matter how much she trained him, he’d never be able to move like that. Be as at home in his own body as she was in hers.

She wasn’t shy, and before Steve fully had a chance to take her in she’d removed her bra as well, tossing it at Bucky’s head, making him laugh. And Steve, well, he was respectful of women. But he was also human, and he wasn’t about to ignore the fact that Natasha had been blessed with fan-fucking-tastic breasts. He moved on instinct, bringing a hand up to touch her, gently, his thumb brushing across a nipple, pleased to note that it stiffened under his touch.

“You look like a kid in a candy store,” she teased.

“This is better than candy,” he replied, emboldened by her teasing to lift his head and capture her nipple in his mouth, using his teeth the way Peggy had shown him. Natasha gave a soft gasp before shifting her weight to lie back on the bed and pull Steve with her. He chased the noises he could bring from her when his mouth was on her skin, wanting to make her happy, break through that tough facade. He was dimly aware of Bucky moving behind him, doing something. It was only when Bucky’s weight settled behind Steve again, and he felt the press of what could only be a cock against his lower back that he realized the noise had been Bucky shucking off his jeans.

For all his fantasies, Steve had never actually _been_ with another man before. The fact that the first one happened to be the source of all his earliest fantasies set his heart racing, and he pulled back from Natasha’s chest with a jerk. Bucky’s hand moved to his hip, stilling him, and Steve shuddered, eyes closing.

“What’s wrong, Steve?” Natasha asked, and he hated how concerned she sounded. Like he was a skittish horse that might bolt out of the damn barn.

“Bucky’s uh…” he blurted before he could think better of it.

“Yeah, Bucky is, pal,” the source of his concern piped up from behind him, guessing at the stupid thing he’d meant to say. “You ought to be, too. Take care of that while I take care of the lady, yeah?”

Steve wasn’t sure what Bucky meant by ‘take care of the lady.’ He was made _very_ aware a few moments later when Bucky unceremoniously nudged him away and reached for the button on Natasha’s jeans. It wasn’t long before the last vestiges of her clothing were gone, and Bucky was kissing his way up her thigh, wasting no time in getting his mouth on her. (And oh _God_ Steve was hard now, watching that, palming himself in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure.)

It occurred to him that he hadn’t followed the first part of Bucky’s order, and he attempted to divest himself of his pants as quickly as possible.

Because Jesus, he’d known Bucky liked going downtown with the girls he’d brought back to their place, but seeing it in action was something else. He seemed to know just what Natasha liked, had her back arching and head falling against the pillows while she whimpered. The noises Bucky was making between her legs were _obscene_ , and Steve watched, fascinated, as she closed her thighs around his head, effectively trapping him. Shit, Steve had taken a high dive with Peggy and Maria, but they’d never done _that_ to him. How was a fella supposed to breathe?

He found out when Bucky tapped Natasha’s thigh a couple times and she released him. He pulled back and turned his head to look at Steve, grinning like a punk. “Want a turn, Stevie?”

“Uh.”

“I can show you how…”

Steve’s temper flared, and he pushed Bucky away before meeting Natasha’s eyes and shrugging. “I know how.”

“Prove it.” Bucky growled that one out, and it was hard to tell if it was his competitive nature or something else.

Natasha didn’t seem unhappy when he headed down south. Sure, his late start and lack of opportunity meant he didn’t have the practiced skill of one James Buchanan Barnes, but what he lacked in experience he made up for in enthusiasm. Enthusiasm that translated into Natasha grabbing him by the hair and holding him against her when he did one particular thing with his tongue, hissing, “don’t you dare stop.”

The lady knew what she wanted. Steve was happy to oblige, working his mouth against her slick sweetness until she repeated the maneuver she’d done with Bucky, thighs clamping around his ears. Breathing became a secondary concern as he worked his tongue against the spot she’d indicated, over and over again until he felt her shudder above him, thighs going slack before she pushed him away so she could recover. He pulled back, proud of himself, catching his breath with a grin. Natasha looked wanton and happy as she lay splayed out on the mattress, modesty not even a slight concern.

Steve barely had time to take her in before Bucky pulled him flush against his body for a hard kiss. He tasted like Natasha, still, salty and just a little bitter and earthy. Steve moaned against his mouth, and the moan turned into a whine when Bucky’s fist wrapped around his cock, squeezing hard enough to hurt a little. Felt good, Steve was surprised to find.

“Where’d you learn to do that?” Bucky asked, his voice still a dark growl.

Steve shrugged, cheeks red as he glanced at Natasha. “I’ve...done it before.”

“Even if you hadn’t,” Natasha said lazily, watching Bucky closely as he held Steve fast, free arm curled possessively around his shoulder. “The ability to follow instructions is all you really need. Unlike some people...”

Steve blushed, tried to duck his head. Bucky snorted and pumped his fist.

“Jesus,” Steve managed, hips stuttering forward, his embarrassment forgotten.

“Take the compliment, Rogers,” Bucky teased, relaxing as Steve clung to him. “You’re a natural.”

Steve wasn’t, not really. He knew he was awkward and unsure, but Natasha and Bucky were making it easy to forget. They were being careful with him - he wasn’t stupid, he could see that. But for two people as damaged as they were, careful meant they cared. Careful meant that he was more than collateral damage.

“James,” Natasha said, after a few moments of silence. “I want you. I want Steve to see how well I follow instructions.”

Bucky smiled, leaning in for one last kiss with Steve, then releasing him and turning to her. “How do you want it?”

Natasha thought for a moment before reaching for Steve’s hand. She guided him back to lean against the headboard, kissing him lightly before turning so she could settle on her back between his legs, head pillowed on his left thigh, tantalizingly close to his prick as she looked up at him. He couldn’t imagine she was enjoying the view, thought maybe he ought to apologize. She’d probably think that was silly. After all, why else were they there?

Bucky moved closer, Natasha instinctively drawing up her thighs and parting her legs. It looked practiced - like something they’d done before. Bucky smiled, a predatory look that seemed false, somehow. Like he was just playing a part. He leaned down, kissing her forehead before pulling back. “Like this, Natalia?”

“Yeah,” she agreed, shifting her weight, drawing him in, chewing on her bottom lip.

“Stevie,” Bucky said, glancing up at him. “Do me a favor and hold the lady’s wrists, would you?”

Steve hadn’t been expecting that, and he hesitated, concern evident on his face. Bucky looked at Natasha, shrugged, then looked back at him. Natasha held her arms up to him, the act of submission surprising Steve all over again.

“It’s alright,” she said quietly, holding herself perfectly still. Trusting him. “I need it. Sometimes. James helps. Please?”

Steve didn’t understand it, but he’d be damned if he denied his friend what she was asking for. He closed his thumb and forefinger around each of her wrists, marveling at just how small she was. It was easy to forget her diminutive stature when she cast such a long shadow and filled a room so completely with her imposing presence.

She settled in once she was held, relaxing against him, a serene smile settling across her features. “Beautiful, Natasha,” Bucky murmured. “Show me how good you are for me.”

He took his cock in hand as he moved between her legs, using his metal arm to lift her body, angling her hips so he could slide home without warning. Bucky wasn’t small, and Natasha arched, crying out and jerking against Steve’s hands. He didn’t let her go - she hadn’t asked him to. Bucky said something to her in Russian, and she moaned, nodding and closing her eyes.

“Да,” she replied. Steve knew what that meant, though he didn’t know what had prompted the response. Bucky knew, though, and Steve got some indication of what it was when he began fucking her with a brutal efficiency, setting a rhythm that Steve had to imagine was jarring for her. But she showed no distress - the harder Bucky drove into her, the happier she seemed to be, writhing underneath him.

They were almost animalistic together, all wrapped up in something he couldn’t hope to understand. All he really knew was that he wanted to touch himself but he couldn’t with his hands holding Natasha in place. She seemed to realize his distress eventually, turning her head and nosing against his shaft, using her tongue to lick him when she had the chance. The angle was awkward, though, and Bucky pounding into her didn’t give her a lot of opportunities to reach Steve effectively.

Bucky noticed, eventually, looking up at Steve with a smirk and shrugging as he slowed his pace “You want a suck job, Stevie, you can just ask for one.”

“I uh…” he stammered, so caught up in the intensity of the moment that he couldn’t form a response. “I do, but...you’re...busy?”

“Nat’s real good at multitasking. Aren’t you, sweetheart?” Bucky replied, an air of authority about him. It didn’t suit him, Steve decided. It felt like he was just playing a part, saying what she needed him to say. Still, she was awfully compliant when he praised her. Steve hadn’t ever seen her submit to, well, anything, but right then she seemed happy to do whatever Bucky asked of her.

“Go on, kitten,” Bucky coaxed, slipping from her body and giving her time to turn onto her front. Steve moved to let go of her hands for her to shift position, but Bucky stopped him. “Don’t let go of her,” he warned. So, he kept his hold on her wrists, adjusting his grip slightly as she turned, crossing her arms, the position certainly more stressful than before. She didn’t complain.

Bucky rearranged her, pulling her hips up so she was on her knees. Looking up as best she could from that angle, she gave Steve the tiniest of smirks before wrapping her red lips around his cock and yeah, he liked that. He wanted more of it, bucking his hips up to drive himself further into her mouth. Bucky took the opportunity to fuck into her again, the angle and sensation different as she moaned around Steve’s shaft, which just made him jerk against her harder.

“Careful, Stevie,” Bucky cautioned, pausing in his attention. For all that he was rough with her, he was cognizant of any potential distress. “She can’t get a lot of leverage like that.”

Steve realized what he meant and immediately felt guilty. From that angle, with her hands trapped, it was harder for Natasha to pull herself away from him. Not impossible, but considerably more difficult. Especially when she had Bucky rocking her forward from behind.

“Sorry,” he said, wishing he could touch her properly. He settled for stroking the inside of her wrist. Her eyes shut, a shudder running through her. “Sorry, Nat. I’ll be careful.”

She made a noise of assent before taking him deeper. Steve willed his body to stay still, just as Bucky started to move his hips. They fell into an easy rhythm, one which had Steve right on the edge within a couple of minutes, and coming not long after that. It had been a while, after all. Natasha didn’t get any warning, Steve shooting into her waiting mouth with a bitten back cry. For her part, she pulled back just in time that she could swallow his spunk instead of choking on it. Bucky, ever mindful, slowed his pace when he realized what had happened, giving her time to recover. She did eventually, pulling off Steve with a smile on her face.

“Thanks,” Steve said, for lack of a better option.

Natasha grinned, glancing over her shoulder at Bucky before looking back at Steve. “You can let go of me now,” she replied. He did, releasing her wrists, watching as she placed her newly freed hands on his chest and leaned up to kiss him. He could taste himself in her mouth, the sensation of it both truly weird and a complete turn-on.

Bucky started fucking her again in earnest once she was settled against Steve’s chest, mouth locked against his. He could feel every thrust, feel the weight of them both as Natasha kissed him so sweetly and Bucky took her hard. He opened his eyes, looking past Natasha to find Bucky watching him, eyes fierce and determined. There was something desperate in his expression. Something overwhelming. Steve wasn’t going to look away.

It occurred to him suddenly that Bucky was only human, no matter what Steve had projected onto him over the years. No matter what had been done to him to try and remove that humanity. And humans were weird, interesting, sexual creatures with strange desires and needs. Steve was human, too. He was allowed to want the fantasies he’d been hiding behind for years. Bucky wasn’t going to judge him. Neither was Natasha.

The thought was freeing and terrifying, all at once.

Bucky was silent when he came, hips jerking forward erratically a couple times, body tense and his eyes closing as he sucked in a few sharp breaths and dug his fingers into Natasha’s pale skin. It was a marked change from the Bucky Barnes who’d get extra loud with girls just to make Steve blush and dive under the covers with a pillow over his head. Steve wondered why and how he’d learned to be so quiet. Bucky usually brushed him off if he asked questions like that, but Steve found that he wanted to know anyway. Maybe knowing would mean he could help, or at least try and understand.

Natasha let out a sigh, pulling herself away from Bucky and pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth. “You want a turn?” she asked, teasing him, glancing down. His erection had waned, but it wasn’t gone completely, and it wouldn’t take much of an effort to get him back to full mast. Perks of the serum (or pitfalls more often than not).

“Uh…” He didn’t, not really. He was tired and overwhelmed and he honestly just wanted some more kissing and shared body heat. But it seemed impolite to refuse when she was offering. “I...maybe?”

Her mouth twitched, and she raised an eyebrow. “Questions, concerns?”

“I…” He was going to have to articulate, it seemed. “We all got off. If I get another go...doesn’t seem fair. Plus you’ve gotta be tired. I’m tired.”

Natasha considered, cocking her head to the side, a smile spreading across her features. “Equitable. I like that. You’re a paragon of virtue, Steve.”

Bucky was looking at them, a frown marring his features. It was hard to tell what he was thinking when he got that way. Steve hated it. So he spoke up, just to try and change the mood. “I...appreciate the offer, Nat, really. Maybe in a while? But like I said, I could use uh...a break.”

“Sure,” she replied, arranging herself so she could curl up at his side. Bucky hadn’t moved, still frowning. “James,” she said briskly, snapping him out of his reverie. “Come lie down with us.”

Bucky didn’t move immediately. He studied them, confusion on his face, before he seemed to make a decision and curled up at Steve’s other side, leaving him flanked by the two of them. It wasn’t what he had been expecting - he’d assumed they would gravitate back to one another afterward, leaving him out again. Instead, they each clung to him, Natasha pressing light kisses to his chest, Bucky’s arms slipping tightly around his waist.

“You...you two can sleep here if you want,” he said after a while, breaking the silence.

“Thanks, Steve,” Natasha replied.

“Thanks, Stevie,” Bucky echoed.

Within a few minutes, Bucky was already dozing, and Natasha was getting there. Steve reached out to turn the light off, eyes closing, exhausted.

The next thing he knew, the warm weight on his right side was moving, as Natasha extricated herself from his grip and grabbed her clothing. Bucky was still down for the count, though he’d released his vice grip on Steve’s waist. Steve, however, was a light sleeper. Natasha might have been a world-class spy, but she wasn’t sneaking out on him. He followed her once she was in the living room, leaving Bucky to rest.

“Nat?” he said, voice hushed when he found her putting on her shoes.

“It’s alright, Steve,” she replied, looking up. “Go back to bed.”

“Where...why are you going? You don’t...I want you guys to stay.”

She smiled, shrugging as she stood upright. “I meant what I said before,” she said quietly. “This is just stress relief for me. Bucky does what he can, the stuff with...holding me down, telling me I’m good. He tries.”

“I don’t…” he frowned, watching her. It clicked for him suddenly, his eyes widening. “It’s not Bucky. There’s someone else.”

“Got it in one, Rogers,” she smiled. “I’ll make a spy out of you yet.”

“But…”

“It can’t happen for us,” she said firmly. “Bucky’s just helping me out. Like I said.” She smiled, quirking an eyebrow and shrugging. “Besides, we’re in a similar position. He’s in love with someone else, too.”

“Oh,” Steve frowned, confusion washing over him. “Who?”

Natasha laughed at that, a rare, bright smile blooming across her features. “Steve,” she said, “Don’t be an idiot. I’ve been pushing him towards this for months. He’s terrified of how much he loves you.”

Steve’s heart was thumping hard, and he shook his head. “I...he doesn’t, Nat. He just...it’s just sex. He said it. He’s...he hasn’t ever done anything to indicate…”

“Because he doesn’t know how to,” she said gently. “He’s still figuring out who he is, Cap. He’s all mixed up inside with how much he wants you, and how terrified he is of hurting you.”

“That...but why...he acted so…” he was frustrated, confused and exhilarated all at once.

“I can’t answer those sorts of questions,” she said quietly. “You need to talk about it with him, I’m just trying to be a good friend and help you both see past your blind spots.”

“So you set this whole thing up for...us?”

She smiled, brushing some hair out of her eyes. “Were you there for the sex? It wasn’t altruism, I promise you that. But yeah, I was hoping you two might take the opportunity to figure your shit out.”

“It’s not…”

“I’m just the catalyst, Steve. You two are the reaction.”

Steve smiled at that. She had a way of putting things in perspective that few other people in his life possessed. “You know,” he offered. “It’s not the same thing, but I do care about you a lot. I love you.”

As the words left him, he understood the difference clearly: he’d kill for Natasha; he’d die for Bucky.

“I know,” she said easily. “It’s not the same thing, but it’s something. And hey, if you guys ever need a helping hand, I’m around. Just...take the time to grab this thing and run with it. Don’t let some stupid fear of the unknown ruin something spectacular.”

Steve nodded as she crossed the room to grab her hoodie. “I’m...sorry. That you can’t have what... _who_ you want.”

She smiled again, sad and a little wistful as she moved to hug him tightly, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. “Thanks. Go back to bed, Steve.”

He did, but not until he’d seen her out. After that, he sat for a while, thinking about what he wanted to say. Eventually, he headed back to bed, crawling in next to Bucky and watching him as he slept. He stayed that way for a long time, studying the rise and fall of his chest, the way his face would occasionally twitch, how vulnerable he was when he slept. How much Steve loved him - truly loved him, if he was honest with himself. Maybe they’d both been idiots, too afraid of getting hurt or hurting the other. Natasha was right; they didn’t have the time to waste.

When Bucky opened his eyes the next morning, he was pleased to note the slight flush that immediately rose in his cheeks at finding Steve’s gaze affixed directly to him.

“Morning, Buck,” he said calmly. “We need to talk.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! More Kink Bingo coming soon, hooray! Also, more kinky stuff on the way in the Brownstone universe if you're following that one as well. If you're interested in seeing what I have lined up for Kink Bingo, my card can be found [here](https://notlucy.tumblr.com/post/166652964702/mcu-kink-bingo-card).
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr at [notlucy](https://notlucy.tumblr.com) for all sorts of fandom goodness.


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